Winnipeg Love Letters -- N is for Not Vancouver

"Traitor!" They're shouting. "She leaves the city and the first thing she does is slag her old hometown!"

They're deleting me from Facebook. Demanding I return my Fleuvog shoes. Blocking me from the Stanley Park livecam. 

Dog-friendly sunsets on Lake Winnipeg

Oh Sweet and Darling Inhabitants of Lotusland this is not about you. Honest. It's not about you and your majestic natural vistas. Nor your orca-laden ocean, temperate climate, and pedestrian-friendly, densified downtown that you market so well. No. This is about how Winnipeg is Not Vancouver. And how, despite your incredulity, we're good with that.

I love these prairie people. At one point in the early days of settling into our new hometown, I wanted to make a customized t-shirt. I wanted it to say on the front: Aspiring Flatlander. And on the back: Recovering Vancouverite.

So how do I compare thee? Let me count the ways: Sunsets. Vancouver has lovely sunsets that while admirable, don't last very long as they dip behind the mountains and submerge into the ocean. Winnipeg and environs has jaw-dropping, crazy-ass big sky sunsets that seem to last forever (a boon to romantic evenings). Crowds. After a lifetime of arriving hours early, or even skipping events altogether because we had crowd fatigue, we still marvel at the fact that we rush to get somewhere early to "find parking" and battle "the crowds", only to find we practically have the place to ourselves. Traffic. It takes a helluva long time to get anywhere in Vancouver. Possibly a reason lots of people bike. Even in the driving sleety rain. Well, I can't say Winnipeg doesn't have traffic issues. But that usually involves the suburban part of the city, which no self-respecting urbanite would travel to anyway (sorry Loren). Housing costs. Century-old home in immaculate condition on a beautiful elm-lined street. Vancouver: $1.2 million-ish. Winnipeg: $285,000. I think you might be getting the picture. It's Quality of Life. See previous points re: sunsets, housing, crowds, traffic.

I could go on. But I don't want all my wonderful friends in Vancouver to feel bad about where they live. I realize that not everybody is lucky enough to live in Winnipeg.

Old School

Remember that blog when I dreamed about being smart? Well, it's definitely a dream. After I wrote my environmental law exam, I realized, with sadness, my own limitations. Where'd I go wrong? I studied hard. I had beautifully typed and organized notes. I shunned my young children for all things legal.  

Immediately following the exam I sauntered over to the least ageist classmate I could find and sought a little post-trauma empathy. DENIED. Apparently I was mislead. The exam was actually awesome. It was a snap. A piece of frickin' cake. Whaaaaa?  

Maybe online education, instead?

Well, damn you. Damn you and your youthful brains. The one not yet riddled with alzheimer plaque. Damn you and your ability to enjoy the full experience of university. Not having to keep the career in check and the children unscarred and the husband happy and the dog watered and walked. Damn you and your ability to wear stylish clothes in frigid weather and not be hampered by a toque, snowpants, a parka, and mittens (I don't like to be cold, okay?) I know learning is a lifelong pursuit. I know education is an investment. I know they say you're never too old to go back to school. But darlings, I'm telling you, from experience...LIFE experience...that yes Virginia, there is a limit. One's vanity in the face of youth is the variable they never discuss. Going back for a PhD in your 40s may be okay. Finishing off an undergrad? Well, I might suggest online education for you.